{ i believe that we will meet again }

Here is some prior warning: this is a post of very little brain.

OKAY, SO I NEED YOU ALL TO HELP ME WITH SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT.

... my hair.

Well, first of all I'm going to cross-post from DailyBooth just cause I want to show everyone what saccharin got me for Christmas. IT'S ADORABLEEEEE

(  +3 pictures of self, possible other pictures of POSSIBLE HAIRSTYLES  )


HELP ME, FLIST, YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE.

crossposted to LiveJournal! But you can comment wherever you like ♥

I am uncomfortable. I am not going to discuss what, or why. But there is something happening at the moment that makes me uncomfortable. The issue itself is something that my opinion will never be entirely valid on, but the fallout from it makes me incredibly irritable. Cliquing, exclusivity and backstabbing make me unhappy. The fact that I can do nothing about it, even more so.

There are events in motion that make me uncomfortable. I feel better getting it out.

Consideration, compassion. I'm not always an advocate. But they're important.



...

WITH THAT SAID

CURIOSITY LINGERS though I do not expect responses to this fufu.

Tell me if you'd had a crush on me. You can also add in why. I'm curious. All comments are screened & anonymous commenting is allowed.

The problem with LJ: we all think we are so close, but really, we know nothing about each other.

So I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Or something completely random. Ask away.

Fufufu.

HEY ♥

HEY WHO BOUGHT THIS JOURNAL PAID TIME

i love you not having more than six icons was relatively soul destroying. Thank you!

SIAN'S BLADDER IS MORE STURDY IN AMERICA

You know, I think there's a really important distinction when it comes to growing up that I'd like to draw attention to, especially at this time of year.

We're all told lies when we're kids, one way or another. We're told things, like the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and we believe them even if we question them because that's within our natures. I mean, that's a generalisation, but overall, it's a prevalent one. We are lied to as children. It doesn't sound good. But at the same time, that lie is what makes this particular time of year magical. And it's that lie that persists no matter how many times the truth is eventually told.

I was about twelve years old when my parents informed me that Santa Claus isn't actually real. I think I cried. I was a bit of a sissy kid, in a way. As many of you know, I'm also a sissy grown-up. But when you've believed whole-heartedly in something for year after year, you truly are disappointed when you find out it isn't true. Is the whole affair tainted by that realisation? I don't think so. Children can be quite simple. There's still food and trees and presents and cake and all of those things. So Christmas is still amazingly fun. But the addition is a part of growing up - accepting your parents lied to you not maliciously, but because they wanted to awake a spirit within you, to give you some of that magic that adult life loses so very fast. Or maybe, just to get you to bed on time. I'm realistic.

You'd think that's where it ends, right? But that isn't true. The part above is talked about at length by everyone at this time of year - when you found out that nobody comes down your chimney at night to give you gifts. But there's another time. Let me talk about what Christmas is for me now, first. I spend the entire time working my butt off, wrapping a semi-infinite amount of presents, helping my mother with the cleaning and the food and organising the less helpful members of my family. Not to mention, trying to prepare things for my mother behind her back, entertaining, all of these things. Christmas for adults, I've found, is truly stressful. It's a constant worry about time and money and preparation. That has been my past few days, at the very least. I am overworked, stressed, and grumpy.

Yesterday, while I went Christmas shopping I was looking after a little girl. Not the best situation. It is singularly difficult to choose Christmas gifts with a little girl demanding your attention too. But I got on with it, since that's what we do at this time of year. And that's where that second part begins. We were waiting for the bus to go home and she said to me:

"Sian, is Santa Claus real?"

I opened my mouth to say 'no', because that's what I know to be true. 'Santa Claus' is actually people all over the world just like me who have an absolute nightmareweek or two trying to get everything done. Women who burst into tears over a turkey from stress and men who exchange their wife's gift five times because they're not sure if she'll like it. Christmas is all about that uncertainty and that rush, that strive for perfection that's on the front of all the Hallmark cards and on every shop window. But, if you remember back when you were a kid, that's not what it's about at all. That's not ever what it's about.

Christmas spirit is different for adults than for children. For children, it's simply a case of believing. If you believe, then things happen around you, and it's the easiest thing in the world. For adults, it's admitting that lying is okay if it brings happiness. And that all that hard work is worth seeing smiles.

"Of course he is," said I, and answered all her questions about the logistics of it (she's a bright kid) with equal lies. Until such a point as her parents take her aside and say to her that no, Santa doesn't exist, that's the answer you would always give.

And that's what Christmas is, isn't it? ♥

Whatever you celebrate, and however you do so, have a wonderful festive season, and I love you all. ♥♥♥



........ oh fuck i forgot christmas cards

Jesus Christ. EITHER I CAN REDYE THIS OR GET THE DYE OFF WITH ONE OF THOSE PACKS OR KEEP IT AS IT IS.

(  TELL ME WHAT TO DO FLIST  )

Either I am totally fucked or this has been an interesting new hair choice for me.

I can't decide.

haaaaaaau.

I did some proper espionage this evening. It was brill. I sucked at it.

Now.

POSSIBLE FRIENDS CUT YOU SAY?

SOME PEOPLE ARE OBSOLETE FROM THIS OBVIOUSLY but the old list is getting a bit sizeable now and I feel like I don't keep up with everyone and that is sad. With that in mind it might be time to do some snippy snippy. I MAY GO BACK ON THIS BUT. If you think I might cut you and you wanna stay on, comment away. If you want to have that sort of "stop your flist, I wanna get off" conversation, we can do that too. The whole thing is a touch on the side of selfish but I just wanna know who's still out there and reading, really.

FURTHERMORE: if you are on Inksome and I didn't friend you yet, and you want me to, FEEL FREE TO ALSO COMMENT HERE. I will take a comment on this as also a comment on the latter, I am brilliant like that.

WHY IS IT SO UGLY!?!?!

trufax: I only did this one because I like how pretty the type is.

THE ANONYMITY
MEME PT DEUX

Come, let us converse in an anonymous and thus largely protected fashion. 'Cause, you know, I honestly feel I just haven't done enough memes lately.

Also Morgan Freeman has this incredibly beautiful voice.

Also I am often very unsure whether I hate or love Facebook.

Also I really should pick up a book while on this here English course.

PICSPAM PICSPAM PICSPAM. So when an abundant amount of you saw me, either at AX or in other places, I had FIRETRUCK RED hair. And I liked the firetruck red hair, I did! But then I made the very unfortunate decision of late of dyeing it PURPLEISH. And I didn't like the purple! And that has put me off unnatural hair colours to a large extent. With that in miiiind, I have dyed it a more natural reddish brown which actually suits me a loss and looks less bottled. I like it a lot :]

PICTURES BELOW. These don't have the best light, and I made them small because I don't like seeing my mug all large on the screen, I find it upsetting because I am of late quite so pale.

(  she's a maaaaniac maaaaniac  )

I would provide witty captions but I am too lazy. ♥

Long time no write anything, huh. And, once again, this isn't actually a particularly productive form of entry as far as telling everyone what my life is like is concerned. For what it's worth, life is good! Quiet. My sleep patterns are distractingly odd. I am going to karaoke tonight, kara-okay.

Right, now onto the main postlike thing, which is pimping for the shiny shiny new game that opens on October 15, neotopia. It's run by bentley, glitterdemon and exuberance, who are epic ♥. COME JOIN. I have already apped there twice, and will app at least four more times, sob.

(  :( click this. click it now!!!  )

If you are interested I can also give you a link to the neotopia welcome video, which happens to feature exuberance's breasts. Oh, and some helpful information on the game. But mostly the boobs.

Right, so. I am aware that this journal is normally full of me talking about things that don't particularly matter. However, there has been something that's troubling me lately, and I thought I'd get it out in the open! And yes, it is about politics. British politics, American politics. Somewhat more surprisingly for my flist of late, it is also about the economy. And that is prevalent in this post, so if you're interested in how the political climate relates to the world economy, then just. Scroll on down. If not, move on, move on.

(  On the forthcoming economical recession as relating to the political climate. ... which admittedly sounds a bit scary.  )

WORLD EXPLODES IN AN HOUR AND FORTY-FIVE MINUTES GUYS

or at least I hope so cause that's about the time I have to go to work :(

Am searching for an artist for writing-illustrative side project. I'm looking to write a shortish illustrated story, I think! I HAVE AN IDEA! Perhaps for PROFIT who knows, we can but hope. I am only vaguely talented at arts, not really very good, and I'd love to have a like. Actual artist sob. I know there are a few of you about, would anyone fancy doing a bit of drawing for something I've written? I know there are some anime-ish cartoon-ish arteests on my flist, and that's sort of what I"m looking for.

It involves uh. Dystopian landscapes. One (1) giant cyberpunkish robot, the "Red Journeyman", that I have been drawing failtastically all day. One (1) female pilot who has taken over from one (1) male pilot who supposedly died at the beginning of the story. It would be shortish and kind of epic and very quiet. You wouldn't have to draw fighting scenes, it's a story about travelling and things not growing out of use because they're old, and helping people, and first impressions not being right. Also falling in love with someone who's dead through a variety of videos left by that person about how to be the person who travels in the robot. It might eventually involve one (1) shameless happy ending, because I haven't written one of those in a long, long time. IT'S A CHILDREN'S STORY KINDA young adult's story, anyway. and. YAY? MAYBE YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED.

I know everyone's going back to school and work etc, but I am too, so progress might be kinda slow. THERE WOULD BE NO PRESSURE i just really wanna work on something with someone and this'd be really fun. IF YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED GET IN TOUCH and I'll give you a proper synopsis of the story and stuff. :) ♥♥

this is public in case anybody knows artists who might be interested and would do me the wonderful favour of linking them here. This is the kind of story that sort of needs pictures SO. \o/